Ahead of Father’s Day, we reached out to several U.S. Army dads, and an IHG® Army Hotels staff member, to see how military service influenced their perspectives on parenting. Of course, the challenge of being away from family while on active duty is a recurring theme, but every dad said it makes the moments together even more special.
In celebration of these patriotic and devoted family men, we share their thoughts on family and military service.
Biggest joys and challenges
The rigors of Army life are well known, but raising a family in the midst of active service adds another level of difficulty. These Army dads agree that time away from family is one of their greatest challenges.
“Being in the Army is very demanding… and I think it’s hard for younger kids to understand why dad wasn’t there,” said Sgt. 1st Class Matthew Wright, who has served 20 years.
Lt. Col. Lee Robinson, who has served for 23 years, agreed. “The biggest challenge is undoubtedly when you have to leave for an extended amount of time, and you know you are missing moments you cannot get back.”
E-5 Sargeant Joey Combs, who served for 10 years and is also a staff member at IHG Candlewood Suites on Aberdeen Proving Grounds, shared that the “biggest challenge was being away for the important things – like my youngest [child’s] first Easter. My favorite memories consist of coming home from deployment and see my [daughters] for the first time in months.”
However, all three said that challenge also brings about their greatest joy: making the most of the moments they get with their family.
“I think we planned something for just about every weekend we could. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so it was all about the quality time when I was home,” Wright said. “I loved coming home to my kids. They were always excited to see dad.”
“Time away helps you to be much more intentional with the moments you do have with your children,” Robinson added.
For Lt. Col. Mike Henry, after 20 years of serving and plenty of moving, the constant changes can prove difficult. “The biggest challenge for us is establishing all new schools, homes, sports teams, etc., every few years and feeling like we miss out on summer each time.”
But Henry, too, flips that into a positive. “My biggest joy of raising kids while serving has been seeing how resilient and adaptable our kids are. I feel that it builds confidence to explore the world. Our recent experience living in Germany was fantastic for our whole family, and we’ll always be thankful for that opportunity.”
After serving nearly 21 years, Ret. Lt. Col. Chris Morton said it can be tough knowing your spouse is essentially working as a single parent with responsibilities for work, kids, bills, appointments, and more. But your kids understand that, as a military family, you are serving something bigger than yourself.
“You can always tell your kids that what their dad is doing helps others. What a great opportunity to set an example for them as they grow into young adults,” Morton said.
And for John Witkowski, previously a staff sergeant for nine years who recently re-enlisted as a National Guard staff sergeant, it’s amazing to see your children follow your lead. “The biggest joy was watching my kids decide to live a life of service as well. Without pushing them, my oldest son has followed in my footsteps and joined the Army, currently at Fort Bragg (Fort Freedom). My daughter is in college and enrolled in ROTC,” he said.
Advice to remember
Unsurprisingly, much of the advice that these fathers have held onto involves family life. Robinson said he spends time talking with each of his children every night. “The greatest piece of advice I received is to be fully present with your kids when you are with them.”
Knowing that active duty requires plenty of time away from family, Morton said the greatest advice he’s received is to remind his kids they are never alone. “It’s so easy for kids to pile responsibilities on themselves,” he said. “Often as parents, we view them as trivial, but they sure don’t. And often, they don’t want to say anything because they are afraid of what you’ll think, or they want to show that they can do it themselves. But constantly reassuring them that you are by their side—even, and especially, when they mess up—I think it’s just great advice for dads.”
Wright received enlightening advice from his favorite platoon sergeant: In the Army, he said, you have two families: your Army family and your home family. “You have to care for each of them on the same level—but remember, your Army family will change as you move along in your career. Your family will always be the same.”
Shared words of wisdom
These fathers, of course, impart their own words of wisdom that they hope their children will remember. Much of their life advice pulls from their experiences as fathers and servicemen, focusing on themes of integrity, family, friendships, relationships and dedication.
Henry tells his children to choose their friends wisely. “I share advice on friendships, in hopes that they realize the importance of connecting with friends who are good people that build you up, rather than focusing on trying to be in the cool crowd.”
Wright reminds his kids that families stick together: “Your family will always have your back and will be there with you when you need them the most. Help your siblings and share in their joys and sadness. You might fight with your family, but you are the only one who can stick up for each other,” he said.
And Witkowski cautions his children to never give up their integrity. “Once you give it up, you have to earn it back, and it may never come back. So don’t lie.”
Deadpan dad jokes
A sense of humor never hurts when you’re navigating the challenges of military life, and it wouldn’t be Father’s Day if we didn’t ask these Army dads to dish out a few of their favorite knee-slapping, eye-rolling dad jokes.
Q: What did the fish say when it hit a wall? A: Dam
—Sgt. 1st Class Matthew Wright
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An impasta
—Lt. Col. Lee Robinson
Q: Do you know why there are fences around graveyards? A: Because people are just dying to get in!
—Staff Sgt. John Witkowski
Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? A: Bison
—Lt. Col. Mike Henry
Q: Why is the propeller put on the front of the airplane? A: To keep the pilot cool.
—Ret. Lt. Col. Chris Morton
Our gratitude goes out to the Army dads serving their country. This Father’s Day, we’ll be thinking about you, your families, and the incredible sacrifices you all make for your country. Happy Father’s Day and thank you for your service!
